quietwaters

Yipes

2006-07-19T19:07:00.000-07:00

How do I calm down?
I am soooo everywhere else right now,
Soft sweet cotton down,
Quietness sweet breath I find helps but how,

Strife,
Fury,
Pound pound pound.

Sigh a relieved breath,
I love Him beautiful Saviour found me now,
No such thing as death,
Sweet freedom eternal life broken for me how.

Love,
Sacrifice,
Pound Pound Pound.

All for me He died once for all,
Ultimate Sacrifice brought freedom to my heart,
The house that will not fall,
Home rest where my heart is mercy from the start.

Calm,
Quiet,
POUND POUND POUND.

I am amazed about how God teaches us what we need to know when we seek his face. One big thing that I was struggling with was more confidence in the work place and I think I mentioned that in my last blog maybe not. These verses really taught me alot
"18Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. 19For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness"[a]; 20and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile."[b] 21So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours, 22whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas[c] or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, 23and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God." 1 Corinthians
3:18 - 21.
It was an amazing comfort and then I did a whole study on confidence which there will be more on later. It is important to be confident in God but also humble and it can be difficult to find the right balance but when the focus is on God things that are difficult start to make sense. It is a growing experience and a learning process but with God's help anything can make sense.

Hiedi Ho

2006-07-18T06:41:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I have posted on this. I woke up an hour early as I set my alarm wrong and there were trees all over the place on the roads because of the storm last night and then I happened to look at my watch and realize that I was leaving to early.

Yesterday was an amazing God filled day. He really does bring joy if we let Him. He has told me to be still and not search for the right guy anymore and that it will happen but not yet so just enjoy the time I have alone and with God right now. My focus is now going to be on God alone. He is amazing and with Him I have everything I need. He has been teaching me a lot lately on confidence in Him and that love replaces fear so to not be afraid. We all have our insecurities and hidden fears but when we face them and realize they are there and then search God's face for them to be healed then miracles can happen. Ever since I moved to where I am now I have been struggling to find my place but now I realize that my place is in God alone. It is good to make friends but my place isn't in them my home is the house that mercy built and that is sufficient for me. "A man who has friends must himself also be friendly but there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." It is soo true.

Dream

2006-05-02T07:33:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a looonnng dream. Part of it was funny. I was walking down this country road with forest on the left and a lake on the right. We were talking about how deer would run across the road and then I spotted on the left amongst the trees and everyone was going to continue walking but I said not too and started whistling at the deer. It then stopped and turned around and all of a sudden was a moose without antlers and it came right up to me and was within a few inches of my face. This scared me and I made everyone run into the lake and swim away from this moose and of course the moose followed us. It was very scary. But it turned out he was a nice moose and I think he could even talk. He offered a ride on his back for my brother so Christopher wouldn't have to swim anymore by this time we had swam to the other side of the lake and were making our way back. Christopher said that no he didn't want too. LOL. So the mosse I thought was mean was really nice.

The End

My little Girl

2006-02-23T18:44:00.000-08:00

My little girl came back to me the other day,
A wonderful surprise,
When you lose your little girl who you love so much,
And then someone takes her away,
It hurts,
A pain so deep that you cannot understand it.
I lost my little girl and she shone like the sun,
She was an angel,
And then she was gone.
She came back to me though,
A blessing I cannot describe with words,
Even though she isn't my own flesh and blood,
She is my little angel,
And I am so happy,
That she is here,
Again.

Okay here we go

2006-02-23T18:19:00.000-08:00

The shade falls off the light
CRASH
For no reason at all
OUT OF REACH
Where no one can reach it.
Clatter goes the fall,
As the sparks fly,
Upward,
Across the jagged wall.

What does it all mean,
Why do I restrain myself,
From enjoying,
Knowing,
things are not what they seem,
After all,
But things can be.

Risk,
Risk is worth taking,
Without fear,
But how to rid the fear,
Is the most insidious question of all.

Love,
How do you take the risk and not fall,
That insidious question is only answered,
After....

This Past Week

2006-02-12T07:44:00.000-08:00

This past week I had a nice little fender bender iyiyiyiyiyi and also went to my parents for my mother and brothers birthday. Valentines is almost here, yaaaay. Not that I have anything to do of course but Valentines is still a nice day. I've always liked it. Some people may find it depressing because they don't have anyone to share it with but life is what you make it. If all you are going to do is dwell on the fact that you don't have anyone than that is your fault. I know that sounded harsh, sorry, I didn't direct it at anyone in particular. I have always enjoyed Valentines and it is good to think about those who do love you such as your family members then worrying about not having found the right person yet. It will happen in God's timing. Sometimes too there are friends that maybe you never thought about asking out on a date. Well my advice to that is to go for it. LOL. Be wild and adventurous and be bold. And on another note always report an accident right away when it happens. My bad.

Whirlwind

2006-01-30T17:38:00.000-08:00

The world is a whirlwind of confusion,
A whirlwind that blows swiftly,
The world is a whirlpool of emotion,
A whirlpool turning frantically.

Sometimes all is lost,
Sometimes all is well,
Is it really all lost?
Or is it really all well?

Everlasting joy surpasses all,
Everlasting love to the core,
The core of the whirlwind,
The core of the whirlpool
Gently whispers,
You are no fool.

Hold on and don't let go,
Hold on and remember,
He is there,
His love never ending,
The anchor.

"In my car I'll be the driver"

2005-12-16T08:25:00.000-08:00

YaaaaY. We have snow snow and more snow. Alright. It is definitely fun to drive in. I'll be the driver. It is such a beautiful day with the sun shining and the snow crystal white.

Oh ya, winter is finally here.

What Up?

2005-12-01T20:47:00.000-08:00

So my internet broke. It wasn't working at all and then all of a sudden it started working again. YAAAY. I'm back.

I've realized that some guys have all these high expectations of what they want in a wife and that is not a bad thing. It is unfortunate though when someone walks in who fit their criteria and they cannot see it. It's like they think a goddess is going to walk in the room and sweep them off their feet like the wind. Okay, alright. Reality check. People are not perfect. It is important to strive for perfection but that will not be attained until Heaven. I strive for perfection. I know I will never get there until I die but I hope to be as much like Christ as possible before I die.

It all came pouring down

2005-11-23T20:46:00.000-08:00

Today I worked. Then I went to find a friend where I thought TCF was but it had moved. So I missed out on that. =( The day ended on a good note though. The Lord is so good.

Today

2005-11-20T05:37:00.000-08:00

Last night was a little rough but I won't go into details. Today I am heading up to the small town where I grew up to be with family. I am so excited. I am going to see people I haven't seen in a long time. My life has been buried here in Peterborough lately and I haven't really visited many of my relatives in a while. Today I am just going to be me and enjoy my family and have fun. Noone can steal that joy. Home is where the heart is.

Post

2005-11-18T12:55:00.000-08:00

My Aunt is coming up from texas and is on her way to my place. I am so happy. I haven't seen her in so long. I was supposed to work today until 6:30 but that didn't happen. I am not feeling well and I was all shakey and had a big headache yesterday. I slept most of the day today. I am sick of being sick so I just ignore it most of the time especially the sinus headache that never goes away for long. Please pray for me. Thanks.

Think

2005-11-11T18:39:00.000-08:00

'My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.

'Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.

'What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?

'I never know what you are thinking. Think.' T.S. Eliot

Speak to me what you are thinking,
I cannot read your mind,
Trying to do that is confusing,
And that way I bide my time.

Who are you?
Why are you?
Why?

That I may know your mind,
And figure out your world,
Is almost impossible,
And difficult to find,
How do I discover you?
Who are you?
What are you inside?

Wonderful

2005-11-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

Today was an amazing day, completely unexpected. I had training at work today and it was very uplifting and motivating. I haven't had such a motivational day in a while so full of spirit and life. Last night I went to coffee house and sang a song, it was great, the Lord really sang through me. He is amazing. It was a very enjoyable evening, there was alot of talent and that is just wonderful. One person performed "The Highway Man" I love that poem, it is sad but so entrancing. I also played this guys harmonica but not in front of everyone, lol. I don't know too many songs on the harmonica. I also played the piano, but again not in front of everyone as I am not that good. LOL. I play by ear and it sounds like the song should but the chords are not right. I took piano lessons as a child but not very long. Life is so beautiful sometimes. =)

Woa!

2005-11-08T14:04:00.000-08:00

I think I am a little too confident on the phone at work for my own good. I had a travel agent call today and was pulling up the booking when I asked him to verify the first names of the passengers he waits a minute and says really slowly it's Helen (assumed name to protect identity)and Sam would you like me to verify the middle name of Sam at which I point I said no and he said it anyway and went on to say, his title is Mr. at which point I said very abruptly You don't have to be sarcastic with me. Well he thanked me for assisting him and hung up on me at which I remarked on the file "TA disconnected at will." He was being sarcastic but I just added more fuel to the flame, oh well. I think that it is important to not let people talk to you like you are two but still I couldn't believe I was that bold. I had a passenger on the phone earlier today who wanted me to move a seat that someone else was sitting in to give it to him, it was dumb and so I told him that I couldn't and then cut him off by telling him I couldn't assist him further and if there was anything else I could help him with at which point he asked to talk to a supervisor. IYIYIYI. As my friend Sherry said one day at work, "I love people."

I wrote a poem today.

The Power

I

I stand at the door and knock,
Do you hear me?
Do you love me?
Will you let me love you?

I stand at the door and knock,
My heart aches to know you,
I long for you,
Do you hear me?
Will you let me in?
What I have to offer you is eternal,
Without end.
I just want to be your friend,
You cannot see me,
But you know me,
By my words,
And I have known you before your birth.

I love you,
Please open the door,
So you can see me,
Please let me be,
Close to your heart,
And you to me.

II

I offer you comfort,
Yet you refuse me,
Yet I'm still here,
And still knock,
Bringing my life.

I love you so much,
That I have offered myself for you,
I died for you,
Please do not refuse my comfort,
It grieves me you cannot see me,
After you willingly,
Opened the door and embraced me.

It hurts,
I want to help you,
Do not rely on your own strength.

Your heartbroken,
I can feel it,
For we are like one,
I know when my bride hurts,
I feel ever tear drop,
On your face,
I sense your bitterness.

Everyone you love rejects you,
And I know it,
I will repay their deeds,
Not to worry,
For I am jealous,
Remember wait,
WAIT!
Trust in me,
And I will strengthen your heart.

III

I am amazed O Lord,
By Your devotion,
You pull me back,
Gently yet persistently,
Into Your arms,
You give me,
Peace that I cannot comprehend,
Nor fully understand.
To fully grasp Your love,
Seems impossible,
Yet I know You will heal my broken heart,
And bind up my wounds,
And through it ,
Will become stronger,
Only by leaning on You.

I am bitter and I am sorry,
I love you,
You are my life,
And are concerned about my worries,
I feel so inadequate,
So low,
But that's what he wants,
Not to feel as who I am.

I am sorry,
Thank you for boosting my confidence again,
I know that there is no need to be bitter,
Bitter has turned sweet in my soul,
I see again,
Am reminded,
That I am whole.

And I know I most likely will need reminded again.

Give me Your boldness,
May I firmly stand,
And walk through the fire,
In this dry land,
And I know that yes I do fall,
But you catch me each and every time,
And then carry me,
Through it all.

I love you,
My Saviour,
My friend,
The One Who has no end,
Thank You for everything,
Your love,
Eternal life,
Thank You for loving me without end,
AMEN!

By Cindy Lonsberry

Bible Study

2005-11-07T19:13:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went to Bible study and I was down and discouraged before I went but my best friend Jen from high school showed up, it was great, a wonderful surprise. We got in a discussion about predestination and I couldn't help but read a scripture on it in Romans at which point Steve cut the discussion off because that was next weeks topic. Now I definitely have to go as I love to discuss predestination. I believe there is a certain elect but it is always good to debate that with Scripture to back it up. I don't let my viewpoints on theology interfere with my friendships though, people have all sorts of different viewpoints and that's okay. Christianity is diverse in opinions it's the heart of it that counts, The Lord. I don't think that theology should dictate who a person is friends with. =( All in all it turned out to be a good evening.

Beauty Sleep

2005-11-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

I definitely needed a nap today. I have been suffering from lack of sleep lately lol. Well it's all caught up now. The one night last Tuesday I had three coffee and didn't sleep a wink all night and after that it was all late nights. Oh well, it's all good.

movie

2005-11-05T20:13:00.000-08:00

There's this movie The Notebook that is sitting on our kitchen table. I hope it's not the one I rented like two months ago and that it is my room mates but it is in a rented case. Ouch. Those late fees would be tremendous.

Okay

2005-11-04T17:06:00.000-08:00

This life is a whirlwind of activity. It is so rushed and fast.

MASKED

Who am I?
Rush,
Busy each day,
Racing to meet the challenge,
Bills to pay,
Need determines work,
I like it in a way,
But my heart aches to calm,
So I sit here,
Crocheting white lace,
Making the most of it,
Behind the mask,
My face.

2005-11-03T20:42:00.000-08:00

I don't know anymore. My roommate is mad at me and I don't even know why. I try to do what she asks but it is difficult when I work full time and spend most of the rest of the time away from the house. I do care about what she says but she thinks I don't. I am not trying to be a pain in the ass, pardon my expression, as I normally don't swear only when I am deeply troubled by something. I do care about her as a sister in the Lord and I do listen to what she says. I am just so busy all the time I guess it seems like I don't. Responsibility is pressing and my thoughts have really been preoccupied as of late. I honestly don't know what to think of it all. Sometimes I just shut myself off to everything around me and focus but I see it is hurting some people. I don't know.

Halloween

2005-11-01T08:05:00.000-08:00

Halloween was okay, but I am going to my parents and having a dance with my immediate family, just ourselves, it should be alot of fun. I have this really wicked vampire costume. It looks really good and most of it is just normal black clothes, cool black clothes, except for the cape, LOL. I found a really cool way to do my hair with gold and black cord ribbon, it's awesome. So I think this dance will be a costume dance with two of my siblings and maybe my mother, LOL.

2005-10-28T14:21:00.000-07:00

She's my kind of rain
Like love in a drunken sky
She's confetti falling
Down all night
She sits quietly there
Black water in a jar
Says, Baby why are you
Trembling like you are
So I wait
And I try
I confess like a child
She's my kind of rain
Like love from a drunken sky
Confetti falling down all night
She's my kind of rain
She's the sun set shadows
She's like Rembrandt's light
She's the history that's made at night
She's my lost companion
She's my dreaming tree
Together in this brief eternity
Summer days, winter snows
She's all things to behold
She's my kind of rain
Like love from a drunken sky
Confetti falling down all night
She's my kind of rain
So I wait
And I try
I confess all my crimes
She's my kind of rain
Like love from a drunken sky
Confetti falling down all night
She's my kind of rain
She's my kind of rain
Like love from a drunken sky
Confetti falling down all night
She's my kind of rain
She's my kind of rain
Oh, rain on me
She's my kind of rain

Sung by Tim Mcgraw

This song is so beautiful. =) Today I was driving to get groceries and there was this man downtown Peterborough with a sign saying Homeless, Needs Beer. It was funny and I looked right at him and laughed. It was very amuzing. Then I saw a girl with a red bandana and pig tails, LOL.

Love Is Like The Dove

2005-10-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

The doves soft feathers,
Willowy and Soft,
Reminds me of leather,
Of you sitting in the loft.

For your fine jacket,
Course and sweet,
Knowing that you can't be beat.

Love is like the dove,
Hovering above,
And even I know it's love,
As soft as the dove.

Cindy Lonsberry

I wrote this poem when I was 13 years old.

Except The Lord Shall Build the House!

2005-10-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone and if you are an annoying advertiser please don't comment on this blog. It's sooo cold. I believe I am going to have to start wearing my winter hat. I have seen people doing it already and guys seem to wear winter tukes year round (fashion statement) and they also wear those beaded necklaces. It's so cliche. It's nice to see a guy who does not conform to those fashion statements. Although they seem pretty rare anymore lol. I woke up this morning thinking okay must go for a walk then I came back with my head feeling like a balloon, it wasn't fun. I have been battling with a tremendous allergy sinus infection lately but it is getting better which is good.

This World Is Not Conclusion

This World is not conclusion.
A Species stands beyond-
Invisible, as Music-
But positive, as Sound-
It beckons, and it baffles-
Philosophy-don't know-
And through a riddle, at the last-
Sagacity, must go-
To guess it, puzzles scholars-
To gain it, Men have borne
Contempt of Generations
And crucifixion, shown-
Faith slips-and laughs, and rallies-
Blushes, if any see-
Plucks at a twig of evidence-
And asks a Vane, the way-
Much Gesture, from the Pulpit-
Strong hallelujahs roll-
Narcotics cannot still the Tooth
That nibbles at the soul-

Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

FALLEN

2005-10-14T19:22:00.000-07:00

FALLEN
The bright rainy days,
The orange red and gold,
The sunshine in the haze,
So fresh,
So cold.

A tear drop falls,
On a leaf,
Red leaf,
I look up and see,
A tree
So tall,
So old.

By Cindy Lonsberry